Hakzaksawjatpitvil is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-powerful manatee.

Hakzaksawjatpitvil created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Hakzaksawjatpitvil, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hakzaksawjatpitvil, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hakzaksawjatpitvil's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Hakzaksawjatpitvil's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat parsnips.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Do not hurt badgers.

4. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

5. Never talk about comets.