Tonkrulnabtim is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciful centipede.

Tonkrulnabtim created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkrulnabtim, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonkrulnabtim, he will ignore you.

Tonkrulnabtim's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tonkrulnabtim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. You must pray to Tonkrulnabtim eight times a day.

5. Tonkrulnabtim loves gulls, so they must be respected.