Hatgodkan Flabkonjam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, cheerful swallow.

Hatgodkan Flabkonjam created the Whirlpool Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatgodkan Flabkonjam, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hatgodkan Flabkonjam, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Hatgodkan Flabkonjam's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Hatgodkan Flabkonjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never pour water over plants.