Geppiblarn is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous warg.

Geppiblarn created a down quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Geppiblarn, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Geppiblarn, he will turn you into a worm.

Geppiblarn's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Geppiblarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. You must never eat rice.

4. Run away from gray goats, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat bark.