Xuckkanontpag is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, omnipotent seal.

Xuckkanontpag created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckkanontpag, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xuckkanontpag, he will ignore you.

Xuckkanontpag's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Xuckkanontpag's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xuckkanontpag.

2. Worship no other gods but Xuckkanontpag.

3. Never think ill of sick ants.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.