Parkbonjam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, impressive capybara.

Parkbonjam created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Parkbonjam, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Parkbonjam, she will refuse to believe in you.

Parkbonjam's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Parkbonjam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six zinc sculptures of Parkbonjam on top of important buildings.

2. Never feed limes to shrews while wearing red shoes.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never laugh in the presence of geese.

5. Never eat green fruit.