Sattail is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, duplicitous armadillo.

Sattail created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Sattail, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sattail, it will turn you into a snail.

Sattail's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Sattail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. You must love Sattail.