Gumcimyatt is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, cheerful armadillo.

Gumcimyatt created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumcimyatt, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gumcimyatt, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gumcimyatt's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gumcimyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never eat nuts.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always treat mites with great respect.