Govcemben is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, strong otter.

Govcemben created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Govcemben, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Govcemben, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Govcemben's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Govcemben's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.