Quagbarnren is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, happy yak.

Quagbarnren created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Quagbarnren, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quagbarnren, it will not invite you to parties.

Quagbarnren's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Quagbarnren's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention dogs.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not kill sharks.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not cook food in pots.