Dobpintan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciless lion.

Dobpintan created the planet Venus five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobpintan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dobpintan, he will turn you into a puffin.

Dobpintan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Dobpintan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about tomatoes.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help sick foxes.

5. Dobpintan must be the most important thing in your life.