Ontbepflap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced horse.

Ontbepflap created the Andromeda Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontbepflap, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ontbepflap, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Ontbepflap's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Ontbepflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about wheat.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not kill nematodes.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never play with disobedient children.