Afcipnill is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, grumpy grasshopper.

Afcipnill created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afcipnill, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Afcipnill, he will make you grow a tail.

Afcipnill's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Afcipnill's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Run away from turquoise goats, for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.