Cumpin is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, self-assured sheep.

Cumpin created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cumpin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cumpin, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cumpin's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Cumpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cumpin.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never mention squirrels.