Begkomzen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, effective narwhal.

Begkomzen created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begkomzen, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Begkomzen, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Begkomzen's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Begkomzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always help bats.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

4. Always look after injured turtles.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Begkomzen.