Figvidlib is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, vain fish.

Figvidlib created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Figvidlib, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Figvidlib, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Figvidlib's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Figvidlib's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. You must pray to Figvidlib eight times a day.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

5. Retreat if five turtles approach from the north.