Tomzigtunstragshav is a god.

It takes the form of a small, awe-inspiring raccoon.

Tomzigtunstragshav created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tomzigtunstragshav, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tomzigtunstragshav, it will strike you with lightening.

Tomzigtunstragshav's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tomzigtunstragshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

2. Never wear ear rings.

3. Never think ill of sick snakes.

4. Do not dye your hair purple.

5. Never pour water over plants.