Kadzudpak is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, wise lion.

Kadzudpak created the planet Mars three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadzudpak, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kadzudpak, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kadzudpak's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Kadzudpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. You must pray to Kadzudpak seven times a day.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Never hurt dolphins.