Yosstaftap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omniscient bear.

Yosstaftap created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yosstaftap, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yosstaftap, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Yosstaftap's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Yosstaftap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never think about comets.