Manjabkem is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unfair troll.

Manjabkem created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Manjabkem, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Manjabkem, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Manjabkem's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Manjabkem's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.