Nigtimzag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic centaur.

Nigtimzag created the planet Mars three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nigtimzag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nigtimzag, he will torture you forever.

Nigtimzag's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Nigtimzag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Worship no other gods but Nigtimzag.

3. Do not wear indigo clothing.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Erect five platinum sculptures of Nigtimzag on top of important buildings.