Rentipcanvidvabkikvilcub is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, astonishing troll.

Rentipcanvidvabkikvilcub created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rentipcanvidvabkikvilcub, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rentipcanvidvabkikvilcub, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Rentipcanvidvabkikvilcub's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Rentipcanvidvabkikvilcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Rentipcanvidvabkikvilcub on top of all buildings.

3. Hide if five cats approach from the west.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.