Honnarvin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, confident snail.

Honnarvin created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honnarvin, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Honnarvin, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Honnarvin's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Honnarvin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Honnarvin.

2. Do not kill manatees.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Snails are not to be trusted.

5. Do not commit murder.