Parkmidrip Bessdusscim is a god.

She takes the form of a small, slow sheep.

Parkmidrip Bessdusscim created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkmidrip Bessdusscim, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Parkmidrip Bessdusscim, she will boil you in a big pot.

Parkmidrip Bessdusscim's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Parkmidrip Bessdusscim's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Parkmidrip Bessdusscim on top of all buildings.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.