Farnquafpon is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, boastful wolf.

Farnquafpon created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnquafpon, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Farnquafpon, it will refuse to believe in you.

Farnquafpon's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Farnquafpon's Holy Commandments

1. Farnquafpon loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. You must never eat peas.

5. Always help dogs in need.