Fosslarnjig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humane hare.

Fosslarnjig created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fosslarnjig, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fosslarnjig, she will turn you into a slug.

Fosslarnjig's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fosslarnjig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys in need.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. You must pray to Fosslarnjig six times a day.

5. Do not stand on grass.