Talingnart Jiprawnat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous pigeon.

Talingnart Jiprawnat created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talingnart Jiprawnat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Talingnart Jiprawnat, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Talingnart Jiprawnat's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Talingnart Jiprawnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bananas.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Shrews are not to be trusted.

4. Never paint your chest red.

5. Never jump in holy places.