Tuncab is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, merciful fly.

Tuncab created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tuncab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tuncab, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Tuncab's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Tuncab's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Tuncab loves geese, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink alcohol.