Pakhonquim is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, competent lizard.

Pakhonquim created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakhonquim, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pakhonquim, it will boil you in a big pot.

Pakhonquim's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Pakhonquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of horses.

2. Respect your elders.

3. You must pray to Pakhonquim five times a day.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not take Pakhonquim's name in vain.