Batsiszen is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, humorless swan.

Batsiszen created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batsiszen, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Batsiszen, he will curse you with boils.

Batsiszen's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Batsiszen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dolphins.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Batsiszen.