Yamwodnan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, quiet octopus.

Yamwodnan created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Yamwodnan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yamwodnan, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Yamwodnan's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Yamwodnan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think ill of sick snakes.