Ciptallid Xenmetril Nellfodtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, charitable dingo.

Ciptallid Xenmetril Nellfodtonk created an electron nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ciptallid Xenmetril Nellfodtonk, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ciptallid Xenmetril Nellfodtonk, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Ciptallid Xenmetril Nellfodtonk's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Ciptallid Xenmetril Nellfodtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always help sick great tits.

3. Never mention hamsters.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Ciptallid Xenmetril Nellfodtonk loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.