Kapyimkap is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, kind goblin.

Kapyimkap created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapyimkap, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kapyimkap, she will turn you into a worm.

Kapyimkap's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Kapyimkap's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not take Kapyimkap's name in vain.