Tifsomkad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, boastful yak.

Tifsomkad created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifsomkad, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tifsomkad, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tifsomkad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tifsomkad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tifsomkad seven times a day.

2. Never mention shrews.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Erect eight silver sculptures of Tifsomkad on top of important buildings.