Hen Latweemobdag is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, boastful wren.

Hen Latweemobdag created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hen Latweemobdag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hen Latweemobdag, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hen Latweemobdag's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Hen Latweemobdag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine pigs approach from the west.

2. Never eat melons.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never write about black holes.