Fligzidgem is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, benevolent narwhal.

Fligzidgem created gold eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligzidgem, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Fligzidgem, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fligzidgem's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fligzidgem's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not wear nickel on your body.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Hide if three horses approach from the south.