Feddunzed is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, caring hamster.

Feddunzed created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Feddunzed, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Feddunzed, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Feddunzed's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Feddunzed's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Feddunzed.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Feddunzed.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.