Ontvendob Jintimdoss is a god.

It takes the form of a small, able shark.

Ontvendob Jintimdoss created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontvendob Jintimdoss, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontvendob Jintimdoss, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Ontvendob Jintimdoss' most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Ontvendob Jintimdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. You must love Ontvendob Jintimdoss.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Ontvendob Jintimdoss must be the most important thing in your life.