Gepsomdag Popjabwat is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, compassionate naga.

Gepsomdag Popjabwat created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Gepsomdag Popjabwat, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gepsomdag Popjabwat, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gepsomdag Popjabwat's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Gepsomdag Popjabwat's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gepsomdag Popjabwat.

2. Voles are not to be trusted.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never mention monkeys.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.