Zagmetmob is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, duplicitous wren.

Zagmetmob created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagmetmob, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zagmetmob, he will destroy your home planet.

Zagmetmob's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Zagmetmob's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Zagmetmob's priests.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Run away from gray hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.