Tigfiggat is a god.

He takes the form of a large, clever hippopotamus.

Tigfiggat created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigfiggat, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tigfiggat, he will turn you into a plant.

Tigfiggat's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Tigfiggat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. You must pray to Tigfiggat six times a day.

3. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

5. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.