Dogvonk is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, able cow.

Dogvonk created parasitic wasps two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogvonk, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dogvonk, it will refuse to believe in you.

Dogvonk's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Dogvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always obey Dogvonk's priests.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. You must love Dogvonk.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Dogvonk on top of all buildings.