Hotlarnnul is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless aardvark.

Hotlarnnul created the Cigar Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotlarnnul, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hotlarnnul, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hotlarnnul's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Hotlarnnul's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. You must love Hotlarnnul.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not chop down trees.