Kenflatton is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, smart weasel.

Kenflatton created viruses four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenflatton, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kenflatton, he will have a low opinion of you.

Kenflatton's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Kenflatton's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to ducks while wearing turquoise rings.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not listen to music.