Butlagcip is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, confident cow.

Butlagcip created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Butlagcip, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Butlagcip, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Butlagcip's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Butlagcip's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.