Rutjenquag is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, awesome dragonfly.

Rutjenquag created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutjenquag, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rutjenquag, she will laugh at you.

Rutjenquag's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Rutjenquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rutjenquag.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.