Tarnakven is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, generous fox.

Tarnakven created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarnakven, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tarnakven, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tarnakven's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Tarnakven's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about badgers.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not eat onions.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.