Gumnilhotjoplipstig Loopgod is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited wombat.

Gumnilhotjoplipstig Loopgod created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumnilhotjoplipstig Loopgod, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gumnilhotjoplipstig Loopgod, she will turn you into a hamster.

Gumnilhotjoplipstig Loopgod's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Gumnilhotjoplipstig Loopgod's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

5. Erect eight iron sculptures of Gumnilhotjoplipstig Loopgod on top of important buildings.