Flapnarlopsit Rapvadpog is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, almighty salamander.

Flapnarlopsit Rapvadpog created a charm quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapnarlopsit Rapvadpog, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flapnarlopsit Rapvadpog, he will have a low opinion of you.

Flapnarlopsit Rapvadpog's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Flapnarlopsit Rapvadpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.