Konlistfub is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, ruthless octopus.

Konlistfub created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Konlistfub, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Konlistfub, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Konlistfub's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Konlistfub's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five doves approach from the south.

2. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

5. Never eat green fruit.